How to Make Friends Abroad: 32 Ways to Find Your Mom Squad as an Expat in 2024

If you’re an expat mom looking for tips on how to make friends abroad, you’re in the right place! 

Making mom friends abroad as an expat comes with some unique challenges. Like finding the time to make friends while getting your family adjusted to life in a new country. And if you do find the time, where do you even meet these unicorns? Add to this cultural differences, language barriers and plain old shyness, and figuring out how to make friends abroad gets even more daunting. 

But every woman deserves a sisterhood. Especially moms. You know what they say – it takes a village!

Fortunately, I come bearing good news. It’s been way easier for me to make friends abroad than when I was single and ready to mingle. 

After nearly 3 years living in Mexico, I have a lot of mom friends. And I don’t just mean I know a lot of people. I have deep relationships with amazing women who I can rely on like family. Like, the kind of girls who’d bail me out of the pokey at 3 am (god forbid!). 

The majority of mis amigas are Mexican, and from other countries in Latin America. A few girlfriends are European, and one is Canadian. My singular American girlfriend isn’t even homegrown – she’s a naturalized U.S. citizen via marriage who’s originally from Germany. 

Part of my success making local mom friends in Mexico comes down to leveraging my role as a parent to build relationships. The rest I owe to the sheer force of will that comes with needing to find support, as well as desiring an outlet-slash-identity outside of mom-wife-work life. 

For all of you fabulous, expat mamas searching for sisterhood, I’ve put together this article packed with actionable tips on where and how to make friends abroad.  The “how” focuses on the mindset it takes to meet new people in a new place. The “where” covers places in your community where mom friends can be found.

Ready? Let’s go line up your mom squad! 

How to Make Friends Abroad:
Mindset Matters

💫 Be outgoing and take risks

Making friends abroad requires chutzpah to put yourself out there. I mean, who’s meeting people on the Netflix and chill circuit?

I know more than one expat mom who’s complained they can’t make any friends. They blame it on the language barrier, cultural differences, the fact that other moms they know already have a tight-knit posse. But even with me, a fellow expat who speaks the same language, they didn’t make any effort. It’s no wonder these types eventually swear off expat life and return to the States.

Know how I made my first friends here in Mexico? Two months after arriving, I went to a  “mommies play date” organized by a mom from my son’s kindergarten class.  I spoke negative zero Spanish at the time, and didn’t know a soul there. But I went anyway because I was dying to feel at home in Mexico, which of course meant having a few cool girlfriends. 

11 girls – all Spanish-speaking locals – showed up. The “play date” turned out to be an insanely fun night of wine, karaoke and chisme until 1 am (it started at 5!). Within 48 hours, all but 2 of us came down with Covid. That spawned a WhatsApp chat that originally started as a place to commiserate. But now it’s where we still schedule “mommies play dates” 2 years and some change later. 

Since then, many of my friends have complimented my “bravery” for showing up that night. It piqued their curiosity about getting to know me. Like, who’s this confident noob who rolls up without a word of Spanish under her belt (thank god for Google translate!), and doesn’t know a person in the room?

But that’s the thing – I wasn’t confident. I was kinda terrified, to be honest. But I was more terrified of being stuck in Mexico without any friends! 

No, you don’t need to get Covid to make mom friends abroad. But you do have to be outgoing, and willing to take some risks. Sometimes, meeting people requires going outside of your comfort zone. Do it! And be approachable, vulnerable and genuine while you’re there.

💫 Be curious, initiate conversation and be a good listener

As someone who researches and writes for a living, asking questions and listening deeply comes naturally to me. But I get this isn’t the case for everyone. Sometimes shyness, or the fear of overstepping boundaries, can hold you back from expressing your interest in people. As an expat looking to make friends, this is kinda no bueno. You don’t want people thinking you’re uninterested in them. Or worse — stuck up!  

If there’s one thing we’ve known since the dawn of time, it’s that people looove talking about themselves. So when you meet new people abroad, speak up! Ask other moms about their interests or kids. If they’re locals, or if they’ve been expats for a while, ask for recommendations about places to eat, grab a coffee, shop, work out, where to get your glam on, etc.

It can help to make a little, mental Rolodex of easy conversation starters for when you meet other women.

Listen genuinely to people’s answers and look to build on the conversation. A prime hallmark of great friendships is feeling heard.

💫 Be vulnerable and share yourself

By the same token, be open to sharing yourself.

You’re living abroad — how exciting! People are going to be curious about all the crazy what and why that inspired your relocation to a new country. Open up and tell them all about it!

In my experience, most people are curious and excited to meet Americans. They like asking questions to figure us out. Think about it – our movies, music, food, sports, tech, and (for better or worse) our politics are exported all over the world with great influence. In a weird way, being an American abroad can feel a little like being famous. Except you’re not, lol.

The sooner you open up, the sooner you’ll make friends and feel at home in your new country. 

💫 Don’t let language barriers steal your shine

Speaking English is a major advantage when it comes to making friends abroad. It’s a global language that most people want to learn to advance things like their careers or education. Generally, you can count on some English being spoken in major cities across the globe. So, before you’ve mastered the local language, you can try communicating in your mother tongue.

Otherwise, there are tons of translation apps out there that can help. Google translate is my personal go-to, but you can go online and find any one that you like.

It’s also important to remember that most people are going to be sympathetic to the fact that you’re learning a new language. My Spanish is far from perfect, but I still have lots of good friends in Mexico who don’t speak a drop of English. And it’ll be the same for you when you’re abroad — forging friendships based on apps and vibes!

💫 Be helpful, reliable and nurture budding friendships

I have 2 girlfriends here in Merida who used to live in the same neighborhood. We’ll call them Salt and Pepper. Salt was always relying on Pepper to take her kids to and from school, and to borrow food whenever she ran out. Pepper is an awesome friend who always said yes. 

The one time Pepper asked Salt to return the favor and take her kid to school, guess what happened? Salt said yes — but then forgot!

You can imagine what happened to that friendship. Totally kaput.   

The moral of this story is pretty transparent. Making and keeping friendships means you’ve got to show up! 

💫 Pay compliments

Compliments are stellar ice breakers for opening the road to friendship. Whenever I meet someone new, I look for ways to compliment them. Not a fake compliment for the sake of sucking up, but something genuine so they feel warm and welcome in my presence.

Beautiful bag/dress/shoes/. Your kid is so cute/polite/well-behaved. You have a lovely house/smile/outlook. You get the picture! 

💫 Be aware of cultural differences

Part of figuring out how to make friends abroad involves understanding cultural differences. This takes a bit of time. But with enough keen observation, you’ll figure out how to respect local customs and social cues, as well as adapt to different communication styles. 

For example, we all know to avoid talk of politics, money and religion when we’re getting to know people of any culture. But did you know discussing work right off the bat can be viewed as tacky, too? 

“Hi, Jen. Nice to meet you. So, what do you do?”

For us Americans, this is second nature chit-chat. We’re engrained to lead with work-related conversations because we often let our work define us. But I’ve lived in France, Spain, Italy, Wales, and now Mexico, and no one in these countries – beside fellow expats – has ever asked me what I do the second I meet them.

It’s not that people in other cultures don’t talk about work. They just don’t bring it up right off the bat.

The point is to make sure to observe social cues and interactions in your new country. Understanding how people around you communicate goes a long way to help you fit in, and make awesome friends!  

💫 Backseat your Americanness

In case you didn’t know, Americans have quite the rep out in the world. We’re known for being loud, pushy, arrogant, ignorant of other cultures… the list goes on. Some of this may or may not be true. (I’m definitely guilty on a few counts!). The point is, it’s important to understand other culture’s perceptions of Americans so you can get ahead of them.

When I lived in Italy, being a “loud” American wasn’t really a problem. Italians are fairly animated, so I didn’t really stand out. But then I moved to France. Sweet lord! I still don’t think my fragile ego has recovered from the looks, the stares, the wrath I got for talking at a pitch that’s considered perfectly normal back home in Los Angeles.

Of all the places I’ve lived, Paris was the hardest city to make friends in. Gee — I wonder why!?! 

My only recourse was to marry a Frenchman, who taught me to take it down a few notches when I was out and about.

Seriously, you don’t have to bring a foreigner home to get ahead of “ugly American” stereotypes. But you do need to be aware that these stereotypes exist. If you perpetuate them, you risk alienating new friends, or missing out on making new friends all together. 

💫 Be yourself

Making friends as an expat abroad is all about attracting like-minded people. That means being your truly phenomenal self… although just maybe not as loud. Lol. 

Don’t try to be someone you’re not for the sake of other people. Keep your values and boundaries intact, and don’t sacrifice meaningful parts of yourself. It’s exhausting to keep up friendships that compromise your integrity. Anyone who expects this of you is not the kind of friend you want! 

💫 Prioritize your needs

Our main job as moms is putting our kids first. Especially after we move abroad, when our kids are relying heavily on our support to ease the transition. Under these circumstances, it’s easy to sacrifice our need to build our own support systems by going out and making friends.

But here’s the reality: If mom’s not happy, no one’s happy. Acknowledge your needs, then zoom ‘em up the priority list!  

Where to Make Mom Friends Abroad

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS ABROAD BY LEVERAGING YOUR KIDS

💫 Organize a “mommies play date”

Oh, c’mon – you had to see this one coming!

My girlfriend who arranged our “play date” sent a message to the classroom moms over WhatsApp. Consider going this route, sending a regular group text or shooting out a fun email.

You can organize a mom meetup anywhere – at your home, a cafe, a restaurant, happy hour, or even a picnic in the park. The important thing is NOT to bring the kids. This play date is all about you making new mom friends. No distractions allowed!

If you live somewhere a bit more buttoned up than Mexico, calling it a “play date” could seem a little juvenile. I’d go for something like mom’s breakfast, mom’s wine night, mom’s game night, mom’s coffee break, etc.   

💫 Invite the moms of your child’s friends over

My mom met her lifelong best friend through 5-year-old me. She invited my own best friend’s mom over for coffee while the 2 of us played one day. Our moms remained inseparable for decades.

When your child has a play date, invite their friend’s mom to stay for a bit. If your child is the one going to a friend’s house, be warm and chatty when dropping them off. It just might get you invited in for a play date yourself!

💫 Get involved in your child’s school and extracurricular activities

Does your kid’s school have the equivalent of a PTA? Join it! Does your kid play sports? Go to the games! In other words, seek out opportunities within your child’s school to meet other moms and socialize.

This year, I volunteered to be the delegada for my son’s classroom. It’s kinda like a liaison between the teacher and the classroom moms for sharing important info. If a similar position exists at your kid’s school, go for it! There’s no better way to make mom friends than to be in direct contact with every mom in the class. 

Are parents allowed on campus at drop off and pick up? If yes, drop your child off early, and linger longer after school. This is an excellent way to catch a bit of social time with other parents.

💫 Join classes and activity centers with your kids

Many international cities are filled with classes that moms can join with their kids. Think music classes, art classes, swimming classes, and Mommy and me classes. You can also hang out at activity centers or indoor children’s gyms. These are the sorts of places where older kids might bounce on trampolines, and younger ones can crawl and climb.

Search Google to see what’s in your community and prepare to meet some new moms. 

 

💫 Go to birthday parties

Believe me, nothing makes me happier than dropping my kid off at parties so I can work in peace for a few hours. But if you want to know how to make mom friends abroad, sticking around for birthday parties certainly tops the list. Not only is the birthday kid’s mom guaranteed to be in attendance, but she’ll likely have lots of other mom friends there, too.  

💫 Hit the playground

This one’s pretty obvious, but it’s a tried and true spot for forging mom friendships. I met my very first friend here in Mexico, Nic, at the playground while our sons played together. Fast forward 2 1/2 years, and Nic and I are headed to Mexico City on a girl’s trip next month. Proof that playgrounds aren’t just for kids!   

💫 Volunteer or attend community events for children in your area 

In Merida, the English Library hosts a children’s story hour every two weeks. It’s filled with expat parents and an English-speaking staff. They rely on volunteers to plan the story hour, read books to the kids and help them with activities.  

Check your community for similar offerings. Lots of international cities have English libraries and bookstores that host children’s activities. These places will be full of expat parents just like you who are open to making new friendships.

Also, many museums in international cities host children’s workshops in English. Do a Google search and check these out, too!

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS ABROAD ONLINE

💫 Get Social

Facebook groups are an absolute gold-mine for meeting like-minded, expat mamas abroad. I’ve connected with many expat moms in Mexico and Yucatan Facebook groups.

All local groups are worth checking out, but I’d specifically look for “Moms in” or “Kids in” groups. For example, here we have a Kids in Merida group. It’s been a godsend for finding info about things like schools and pediatricians, and an awesome source for meeting expat moms. 

In fact, I just started my own Facebook group, Inspired Mexico Travel. So if you’re reading this in Mexico, join so we can connect. I’m also an expat mom, don’t forget! 

The trick to making “off page” friends in these groups is to be active. Post questions and reply when someone answers. If you have useful knowledge, share it. Helping people is a fantastic friendship starter.

But Facebook groups aren’t the only place to make new friends online. I brainstormed some prime online resources for you to check out:

🎯 Facebook groups
🎯 Internations
🎯 Reddit communities
🎯 LinkedIn groups
🎯 WhatsApp chats
🎯 Expat.com
🎯 Nomad List
🎯 Bumble Bizz
🎯 Eventbrite
🎯 Meetup.com

💫 Download Peanut

How to make friends abroad just got easier, hot mamas! Say hello to Peanut, an app built exclusively for moms to meet other moms. Their slogan is literally, “Find Mom Friends.”

Sign me up, sister!

Peanut allows you to search for mom friends nearby, join groups and communities, and it encourages you to ask questions and get advice from other moms in its in-app forums. It also caters to moms through all stages of womanhood, from pregnancy through menopause. Peanut has also garnered buzz in publications like Vogue, Forbes and Refinery 29.

You’re still here reading this? Go download Peanut and find some mom friends, Friend!

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS ABROAD IN THE WILD

💫 Get friendly with the WAGS of your partner’s friends

If you have a partner, push for some hang time with their friends in a couples or group setting. Occasions like date nights, dinner parties, work events, and multi-family activities are excellent ways to meet other women.

💫 Sign up for a language class. Or any class, for that matter.

Taking language classes abroad is a stellar way to meet other expats. If you can, try looking for language schools that offer classes during traditional children’s school hours. You might get lucky with other mom’s taking advantage of the time to learn while their kids are in school.  

You can also search online for classes based on hobbies you enjoy. I started taking yoga and pilates classes in Mexico before I spoke any Spanish. Since the language is very contextual – in this case, based around movement and anatomy – it helped my Spanish immensely. Not to mention, find like-minded friends!

💫 Attend all the things

If you’re working abroad, don’t skip the retreats, networking events, seminars, business expos, happy hours, and other gatherings hosted or encouraged by your job. You already have one thing in common with the people you’ll meet there — work — which is an easy segue into getting friendly.

If you have a partner and it’s okay, try to attend some of their extracurricular work events, too.

💫 Join a club

What are your hobbies? Do you run, read, scrapbook, knit? Get online and search for clubs in your community that are based on your interests. 

💫 Do a language exchange

A language exchange is a little different than taking a language class. It’s when you meet up with a local who teaches you their language, while you teach them yours. 

Ask local moms at your kid’s school if they’re interested. You can also post in expat Facebook groups to see if members know any moms looking for a language exchange. If you have a local coffee shop, bookstore or library you frequent, they usually have message boards where you might display a little advert.

💫 Speaking of coffee shops…

Coffee culture is a thing, so why not join in with the aim of finding mom friends?  We tend to meet people where we hang out, so pick a few coffee shops around town where you’re comfortable parking it a few times a week. You can even bring your kids, since they’re experts at making friends wherever they go. Watch as their friendliness brings new moms into your orbit.

💫 Connect with your local American Consulate

Consulates are a great resource for checking out opportunities in your new community abroad. You can find info about volunteering, attending charity events or participating in local projects. And bonus — if the consulate is staffed by expats, you might pick their brains about local expat hotspots.

💫 If you’re religious, get involved in the local community

Places of worship are built around like-minded communities. Find one in your that suits your beliefs and look for opportunities to get involved and meet people. Religious centers are known to host things like holiday events, picnics, food drives, and charity events, which are all wonderful opportunities to meet people.  

💫 Walk the dog

I’m from Los Angeles, where dog parks are seriously the new happy hour. I suggest getting Fido out to the dog park in your community so you can socialize! 

💫 Join a gym or play sports

Gyms are natural social centers. So are community sports teams. Both present the opportunity to make friends abroad — and also to stay fit!

💫 Volunteer your time

I’ve suggested volunteering in a bunch of different contexts above. But if it somehow slipped by you, here’s another reminder! Communities are full of opportunities to volunteer, from libraries hosting book drives to hospitals hosting blood drives. Get online or ask around where you can meet some local do-gooders.

💫 Meet the neighbors

Getting to know your neighbors is kind of a no-brainer. It’s easy to gauge which neighbors have kids, and if those kid’s ages align with your own children.

Take some treats over to the neighbor’s house and introduce yourself. Or, if you see them outside, strike up a convo and extend an invitation to your place. 

💫 Find expat-owned businesses in your area

Expats are everywhere, so chances are you’ll find a few who own local businesses in your area. Introduce yourself to the owner, who’s bound to know exactly how you feel as a newbie in the community. Ask if they have any opportunities for you to get involved in their business, or any recommendations for where you can meet people.

Even better if you find expat-owned businesses that are centered around socializing, like restaurants, coffee shops or event spaces, where you stand a good chance of meeting people.

The Wrap

Well, there you go! You’re now expertly prepped to get out there and find your mom squad abroad!

As we discussed, how to make friends abroad comes down to keeping an open mind to meeting new people, and embracing new experiences. It can be challenging to meet new women abroad, especially with language and cultural differences in play, so be patient and persist. 

Forging new friendships as an expat is bound to take you out of your comfort zone. But, ultimately, you’ll see that building a supportive mom network is one of the most rewarding aspects of your new life abroad!

To read more about navigating life abroad, particularly in Mexico, you can check out this article, and this one, too.

As always, travel inspired Amiga! 💜

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